Let's all come down off the roof for a second...

As a (very) liberal, feminist person who works in an office made up primarily of staunch conservatives, I have had a prolonged lesson in patience over the last few months while being repeatedly confronted with ideas and attitudes of my coworkers that differed drastically from mine, and were not always communicated in the most respectful manner.

As a result of this confliction of beliefs, I have been met with two challenges:

1. To learn how to respectfully communicate my difference of opinion when appropriate

2. To learn how to keep things like learned sexism, racism, and classcism from affecting my emotional state and ability to concentrate.

The first of these lessons began well before election season, as I have been living in politically conservative areas for the last several years and therefore have been constantly surrounded by people who think differently from me, and communicate those ideas in ways that I might not deem polite or considerate of those who think like me. Once election season started this only worsened as it seemed everyone with an opinion (informed or not) was screaming it from the rooftop while pointing at the guy on the other rooftop and saying how ridiculous it was that he should be standing on the roof.

There has been much talk of reproductive rights and gender politics in this election, for good reason. A facebook page that I (used to) follow posted a picture of a pristine mid-century woman, sitting at a type writer, allegedly writing a letter to the GOP asking to have her rights taken away, to be told what to think and what to do, and not to receive equal pay in the workplace. I took extreme offense to this. My mother is a Republican.  Many of my female family members, as well as many women who I have come to know and love as friends over the last several years are also Republican. I assure you, none of these women are idiots, none of them think of themselves as lesser than a man, and none of them wish to fork over their rights. Anyone who says otherwise is uneducated, misinformed, and just as close-minded as they claim their fundamentalist conservative counterparts to be. Upon seeing this image, I was convicted about the way that I speak about republicans, or really any person who I disagreed with politically.  I realized that I was just as guilty as convicting them for their beliefs without a fair trial or proper understanding of their reasoning.

I then began thinking about how this was affecting my communication with people who thought differently from me, and when it was even appropriate to have such a conversation. When coworkers make comments about how Obama is a socialist, or that "foreigners should just go back to where they came from" I am often filled with rage at the lack of tact used in discussing these delicate issues, and with my inability to participate in the conversation without being disrespectful to those who are in power over me in the workplace. The conclusion I have come to is this: These men, who are all much older and much more conservative than me, are not going to change their position because some 24 year old "girl" (their word, not mine) explains why they should. Some might disagree with that, but in my opinion some battles are worth fighting and others are not. Can I get someone to stop making fun of a fellow female coworker by pointing out how rude their remarks are? Yes. Can I change a retired Navy-man's opinion on gays in the military? Probably not, and if it is possible, it would take way more energy than I have at 10 AM on a Tuesday.

In these times of frustration and struggle for positive communication, I remember the Serenity Prayer:

God,
grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, (the way my coworkers think and behave)
the courage to change the things I can, (my level of anger and the way I communicate with them)
and the courage to know the difference. (which hills are you willing to die on?)

To some of my fellow liberally-minded friends this might sound like a cop-out. Some might say that I should fight every battle for the things that I truly believe are right. To those I would encourage discernment between fighting a battle that has befallen you, and picking a fight to make your point. There is a distinct difference. Not every person is going to be like-minded, and not every person is going to be kind in their speech, but I can be and will be for the sake of what I believe is right.

Love the Lord your God and love your neighbor as yourself. There are no commandments higher than these.