Let's all come down off the roof for a second...

As a (very) liberal, feminist person who works in an office made up primarily of staunch conservatives, I have had a prolonged lesson in patience over the last few months while being repeatedly confronted with ideas and attitudes of my coworkers that differed drastically from mine, and were not always communicated in the most respectful manner.

As a result of this confliction of beliefs, I have been met with two challenges:

1. To learn how to respectfully communicate my difference of opinion when appropriate

2. To learn how to keep things like learned sexism, racism, and classcism from affecting my emotional state and ability to concentrate.

The first of these lessons began well before election season, as I have been living in politically conservative areas for the last several years and therefore have been constantly surrounded by people who think differently from me, and communicate those ideas in ways that I might not deem polite or considerate of those who think like me. Once election season started this only worsened as it seemed everyone with an opinion (informed or not) was screaming it from the rooftop while pointing at the guy on the other rooftop and saying how ridiculous it was that he should be standing on the roof.

There has been much talk of reproductive rights and gender politics in this election, for good reason. A facebook page that I (used to) follow posted a picture of a pristine mid-century woman, sitting at a type writer, allegedly writing a letter to the GOP asking to have her rights taken away, to be told what to think and what to do, and not to receive equal pay in the workplace. I took extreme offense to this. My mother is a Republican.  Many of my female family members, as well as many women who I have come to know and love as friends over the last several years are also Republican. I assure you, none of these women are idiots, none of them think of themselves as lesser than a man, and none of them wish to fork over their rights. Anyone who says otherwise is uneducated, misinformed, and just as close-minded as they claim their fundamentalist conservative counterparts to be. Upon seeing this image, I was convicted about the way that I speak about republicans, or really any person who I disagreed with politically.  I realized that I was just as guilty as convicting them for their beliefs without a fair trial or proper understanding of their reasoning.

I then began thinking about how this was affecting my communication with people who thought differently from me, and when it was even appropriate to have such a conversation. When coworkers make comments about how Obama is a socialist, or that "foreigners should just go back to where they came from" I am often filled with rage at the lack of tact used in discussing these delicate issues, and with my inability to participate in the conversation without being disrespectful to those who are in power over me in the workplace. The conclusion I have come to is this: These men, who are all much older and much more conservative than me, are not going to change their position because some 24 year old "girl" (their word, not mine) explains why they should. Some might disagree with that, but in my opinion some battles are worth fighting and others are not. Can I get someone to stop making fun of a fellow female coworker by pointing out how rude their remarks are? Yes. Can I change a retired Navy-man's opinion on gays in the military? Probably not, and if it is possible, it would take way more energy than I have at 10 AM on a Tuesday.

In these times of frustration and struggle for positive communication, I remember the Serenity Prayer:

God,
grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, (the way my coworkers think and behave)
the courage to change the things I can, (my level of anger and the way I communicate with them)
and the courage to know the difference. (which hills are you willing to die on?)

To some of my fellow liberally-minded friends this might sound like a cop-out. Some might say that I should fight every battle for the things that I truly believe are right. To those I would encourage discernment between fighting a battle that has befallen you, and picking a fight to make your point. There is a distinct difference. Not every person is going to be like-minded, and not every person is going to be kind in their speech, but I can be and will be for the sake of what I believe is right.

Love the Lord your God and love your neighbor as yourself. There are no commandments higher than these.

Where the church has noooo naaaaaaame

U2? Anybody?

When does one call it quits with the establishment they have chosen to align themselves with?  I have had many conversations lately with friends from all different walks of life, denominational alignment, and religious preference on this very topic.  From my perspective, this has never been a hard decision.  Having grown up with no denomination and moving from church to church a couple of times while I was young (due to various lines being drawn in the sand on various church related issues), I have never felt a strong alliance with a particular denomination, or even church for that matter.  In addition to this somewhat natural reaction to my situation, the non-denominational denomination (I mean, really, that's what it is) is constantly producing sermons about how it is not the church or the denomination or organization that is important, but ones relationship with God.  It has been my experience that this particular non-denomination is so focused on the fear of legalism that there is little alliance with anything that could be mistaken for tradition or litergy, for fear of falling prey to "going through the motions".  A valid concern. 

 

However, now in my slightly older age, I find myself wondering about where that proverbial line in the sand is located, and at what point a congregant/follower should say, "Ok, that's enough, I cannot call myself by this name any longer."

 

Is there such a line?  I believe every person has a certain level of tolerance--some just have more than others, and most have vastly more than me.  I have taken this issue to the extreme (or, not so extreme if you are a non-denom) and opted out of aligning with any denomination, or really any church, due to disagreements with theology, orthodoxy, or other issues that typically arise in these sorts of faith-based situations.  Now, that is not to say that I do not enjoy fellowship with others or spiritual teachings.  For Pete's sake, I'm in seminary, it would be hard for me to have escaped the last year without learning anything or bonding with the other 9 people I have taken ALL of my classes with.  But, I have not found a denomination or church whose name I feel comfortable adopting.

 

On the other side of this coin (as if there were only two sides) are those who have been raised with a beautiful, strong, attached relationship to a denomination.  I think of my friends who are so passionately baptist that it oozes from their every statement during theological discussion.  Picture loogies that read "autonomy of the church" and "priesthood of all believers"...things like that. 

 

This conversation first came up with a close friend of mine, raised baptist, still baptist, and employed as a baptist.  This friend was quite liberal, and not only that, they are homosexual.  Out to close friends but not all, I ask them why they chose to stay in a church and/or denomination that did not embrace them.  I could not imagine being a part of a church that did not respect me as a woman, and in my eyes this was the same thing, if not even more difficult.  They replied that they felt it was their "calling" or, at the very least, a noble cause, for them to remain a part of this denomination and work for reform within it.  Very noble indeed.  We need warriors such as these to bring about important issues amongst those who might not otherwise deem those issues worthy of discussion.  But, there is a downside to fighting these fights--you get the crap kicked out of you. 

 

I have known many in similar situations who are fighting, and fighting hard, for the respect, authority, and love that they deserve in a particular organization or church, and are getting wearier by the day.  How much rejection and disrespect should a person take before throwing in the towel and moving on to a church that DOES ordain women, or IS open and affirming to the LGBTQ community, or SUPPORTS you in your service loving the world?  When do we draw the line in the sand and leave because GOSH DARN IT, we're sick of it, and when do we decide to stay and fight the good fight?  Are there some people who will never "get" what we feel to be important?  Is it sometimes not worth the fight?  If so, how do you tell when it is?

Processed Theology

I have had this blog for a while now, using it for a few purposes, but mostly as a way to put my infinite words of wisdom at the fingertips of the world, and to show stuff I bought at the thrift store.  Well, with time comes change, and with change comes a lack of trips to the thrift store.  I'm transitioning this blog to be more word based, rather than picture based (although, don't fret, a blog just isn't a blog without the occasional picture of cats doing cute things).  The plan is this: to have a forum upon which I can spill my ideas as the come or are presented to me throughout my seminary education.  As probably all of you know, I am ending my first year at Central Baptist Theological Seminary as a member of the third cohort in their CREATE program, an experimental program that gets creative with seminary education.  Sound spicy? It is.  This is my first post on this new format.  I have several ideas I want to share and have conversation about, but they are not yet fully formed.  Therefore, until they are, this is what you get.  Maybe while I'm forming I will share some photos and experiences from my cohort's recent pilgrimmage to Thailand and Myanmar (Burma). 

 

In short, I'm hoping that this will be a place where I can post things that I am coming to believe, or trying to decide whether or not I believe.  I'm hoping that the readers (however few and far between they may be) will also feel welcome to comment on the posts and generate a discussion, aiding me in my thought processing.  I may post papers that I write, conversations that I have, or random ramblings like this.  Who knows.  All I know is that over the last year I have experienced so many wonderful things, had endless inspiring and challenging conversations, and dealt with a lot of topics within my faith community (both in and out of school) and I would love to expand that forum to include those I love who are far away, or even interested, respectful strangers.  Here's to conversation and discernment, may all involved have plenty of both.