The #YesAllWomen hashtag has prompted a lot of discussion lately—seems important
enough to make the subject my yearly blog post (LOLZ I’m a real bad blogger). There are a lot of skeptics of this campaign,
some because of misunderstanding and some because of genuine issues about the
way things have progressed and the way the hashtag is being used. Here are my thoughts on a few of those
concerns:
This is getting blown way out of
proportion. Where is the men’s right
movement?! The world is so unfair.
–MRA Hole
Dear MRA Hole,
You are EVERY part of the problem.
This hashtag is being exclusive of men, when the issue is all about men.
If you want to change the way men behave, you need to talk to men about
it –Mansplaining Mike
Oh Mansplaining Mike, I totally agree with you. If we were trying to change the way men
behave, we would be talking to them about it.
The issue is that we’re not. I
mean, we are, but that’s not the sole purpose of the hashtag (which, by the
way, reaches both men and women and everyone in between). If you look at #YesAllWomen and what it quite
literally says, you will realize this—Yes, all women have dealt with sexual
harassment/abuse/assault/misogyny. The obvious
extension of that is a need for change in men’s actions, but the prominent use
of the hashtag is to raise awareness of how
bizarrely prevalent sexual danger is in the lives of women. Because no one
will take notice of something they don’t believe to be a problem. #YesAllWomen is about making everyone
brutally aware that there is most
definitely a problem, in hopes that especially men will take notice and
consider this culture that we have fostered when deciding what they can do to
change the way they behave.
#YesAllWomen makes it sound like all men are rapists. I’m a feminist! That
implication is, quite frankly, offensive.
–Feminist Bob
I don’t blame you for being offended, Feminist Bob. You are totally
right, we shouldn’t speak in sweeping, generalized terms—it is unfair. What else is unfair? 1 in 4 women will experience sexual
assault. You’re probably tired of
hearing that statistic, but you know who is more tired of it? Women. Especially the 1 in that 4. Again, I will say you’re right—not all men
are rapists or will sexually assault women, and we shouldn’t discuss this issue
in a way that implies that they will (even though 1 in 6 will). I ask you, how then are we to discuss it? The fact of the matter is that women exist in
a world where they have to be afraid. Allow me to apologize if that fear has caused
some women to say things that offend you. Sometimes fear does that, but please
know that is obviously not the intent. But
when a stranger yells “Slut!” at me from a neighboring building, because I had
the audacity to wear a dress in public, I am not only offended, but terrified. I do not claim to have a
solution to your complaint, but please allow me to say this in the sincerest of
voices—you may be afraid of getting mugged on the street at night, but I walk
with my fists clenched every time I’m alone. Even locked in my own house when there is a knock on the door. I deeply appreciate the efforts of many men to respond to #YesAllWomen and to advance the women’s rights movement. However,
while I recognize that all movements need allies, the movement is not about the
allies. To use a common example, there were
white allies to the civil rights movement. Those people had no reason to defend
the fact that they were not racists, because they were standing on the picket
lines along with everyone else, getting sprayed with fire hoses and beaten by
police (though, not nearly as much as African Americans standing on the same
picket line). There is no need to defend
your feminism if you are living as though you are a feminist. Stand with us and
work toward a solution, and allow the accusation of misogyny to fall on those
who rightfully earned it through their
actions. But please, never forget that
you will never have “Slut!” screamed at you from a window because you’re wearing
a t-shirt that reads “This is what a feminist looks like”.
